I believe making eye contact while talking shows sincerity, honesty and realness in most cases. So does it mean that, no eye contact is equal to being fake? Ponder.
Personally, I love making eye contact as I communicate. But it's quite difficult to maintain because I feel it makes the other party a little uncomfortable; the last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable when speaking to them because I wouldn't want you to do the same to me. I try my best to make it normal as possible.
Maintaining eye contact with a person is not really a hard thing to do, I guess, typing all of these is harder lol . Just the other day in school, I could count the number of persons that looked me directly in the eyes to express himself/herself. It's a two way thing, I suppose. I mean, according to me, Stare at me?,of course I'll do the same. What exactly is the problem?! People?. I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole drive home from school yesterday.
I enjoy speaking to my friends and having to fix my two little eyes on them. It just makes the conversation so real. You can tell that this person is making sense or that this person is actually being sincere about whatever he/she is saying. It makes the discussion deep. It establishes a solid relationship between you and the other person.
Frankly speaking, I just think people are intimidated and equally insecure most of the time. I mean everybody is, we're all dealing with insecurity, honest truth. Some people?, Lol just more Insecure than others. Which is not a problem. But letting insecurity consume your mind and body is what makes it a problem. Don't get me wrong, I'm not innocent of these things. I'm equally Insecure as well, but I do not let it overwhelm me. I believe in building a solid front. Like a hard surface. Do not make people break those walls you have surrounded yourself with, cause if they do once!, guess what! They keep breaking it!. So always, I repeat ALWAYS! Keep a solid front. It builds your self confidence and helps you maintain a healthy relationship with people. NOTE!! No one is asking you to be rude or saucy, hell no. That is trashy. Be nice to a fault :D. People respect you more.
Let's not deviate from the issue on ground, that's a write up for another day. Yes, maintaining eye contact. Staring into one's face could be very intimidating. Often times, people just feel intimidated when you look them in the face and as a result, have automatically developed a defence mechanism; they look away, or look to the ground, or some distant object, or even pretend to look into thin air just to avoid looking at you back (roles eyes) all these acting for what??. I think the reason the whites live a simple life and have such great relationships with one another (e.g divorced couple still going on friendly dates) can partly be drawn from the fact that they are so real with themselves whenever they speak with each other (having great eye contacts).
Honestly, life would be so less drama filled, (pardon my English) so easy, no worries if people can stare into their beautifully created faces and talk to themselves. I'm working on maintaining eye contact when I speak with people as well. I'm no professional and I'm no beginner either, I'm sure better than 70% of people I have come across. Biko uncles and aunties, boys and girls! No one is gonna flog you if you look them in the eye! And have a conversation like civilised people do oh!. Omg I forgot to add, some people just move their eyes continuously because they do not want to fix them on the person they are speaking with (how creepy is that??? Only albinos are allowed to do that please). Trust me it's that bad, I have experienced it. This person just kept moving their eyes because they didn't want to look at me directly which I felt was quite absurd, confusing, funny and pathetic all at the same time! How sad, I must have made the person so uncomfortable. Lol (in case you ever read this, I'm deeply sorry for that, wasn't my intention).
Another thing I would like to add here is that, most people can't stare directly into the eyes of much older people . E.g your parents, lecturers, uncles and aunts or some elderly person of some sort. It's like a sign of respect. In most homes kids are brought up like that. Okay, that's like the only reasonable excuse I can accept. But speaking to your peers??? Sweetheart biko, look into their eyes, who said you're going to die afterwards???.
My fingers hurt already, overall, I believe everyone should try to maintain good eye contact when having a conversation. It helps maintain a level of maturity while engaging in the discussion, it equally makes the conversation authentic and "deep" (tells the other person you know what you are talking about). Also helps boost your self confidence, it helps build good and solid relationships and friendships. You might not feel comfortable at first, but with time you just notice things begin to change and you feel fulfilled after you've had a conversation with someone. Wink... :)
P.S if you think it's difficult , talk to God, he'll give you the boldness you need. Nobody becomes an expert overnight. You'll definitely see how this little thing can change your life for good!.
Kisses!
Donnie x.
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