Lagos story II : From Mainland to Island.

On this fateful day, I contemplated whether or not to go out to my friend's party. His family were hosting friends and he invited me. The venue was just  twenty minutes drive away from my house, so it wasn't far but I didn't know exactly how to get there. On the way I got confused whether I should pass left or right with the description my mother gave so. Then I saw a car with two male and one female inside drive close to me asking for directions, I told them I didn't know anywhere either, then I mentioned the name of the place I was going, they were like that's where they were heading to and I should enter the car (Ermm, I don't enter cars that I am not familiar with the people/person in it, so I really don't know what happened).

The next thing, they commanded me to give them my bag, I did. They searched it and saw my atm card inside. They drove to an atm machine, I was asked to go and withdraw as much as I could, I withdrew ten thousand naira for them. They slapped me saying was that all I had in my account, that I'm just fine for nothing, so I was broke and all. They said a lot and the slap was HOT!

Oh, I didn't mention they picked me up at Masha, Surulere and after all their "parade" they dropped me at Apongbon(cms) which is on the island. They said if I scream or make any alert that I was going to be in big trouble.

They asked me come down jeje, find my way and they zoomed off. I didn't know if I should scream, shout, cry or anything. The tears started flowing, people began to ask what happened then I narrated the whole story for them. The people around gathered like two thousand naira for me (I never knew Nigerians could actually be so nice). I went back home and I didn't step out of my house for one week.

The slap alone gave me headache for about four days not to even talk of my money. That day I realized on had to be extremely careful. Nine out of ten people I told this story concluded that they used juju (charm) for me. Thankfully, I've gotten over this incident but it still hurts and I can never forget.
Thank you for reading.
                                                                                                                - A

PS: Thanks to Marvy Legend for this amazing graphic photo of Lagos Story.

The day of Doom

Charles was the perfect husband. I met Charles 3 years ago at Radisson Blu, a famous restaurant in Victoria Island, Lagos. That day, I was meant to have dinner with my friends but ended up having it with Charles. I had just gotten back from the UK after studying law to attend the Nigerian law school,  Lagos and basically settle down, meanwhile,  Charles had just returned from the US to work here in Nigeria with Chevron after studying engineering. So back to where we met, I was on the phone outside Radisson Blu asking my friend, Bola for our reservation details and I guess Charles was doing the same too because he was also on the phone and there, we bumped into each other. Ta-da!
It was love at first sight. Charles and I got talking and decided to have dinner together, so we ditched our friends. That night was one of the most memorable nights of my life. We exchanged contacts and Charles called me everyday and fast forward, two months later, we were dating. We were perfect for each other. To me, Charles was flawless. Under two years, we got married. Did I mention I had the most magical proposal ever? It was on the eve of my 25th birthday at my favourite dining spot in town. He made exclusively reserved the whole place for just both of us and also invited my favourite band.

 Charles was the best husband any woman would wish for. People say there's nothing like a perfect man but trust me Charles was the perfect husband, he'd cook me breakfast in bed during the weekends and we tried out our experimental cookings every Saturdays if weren't going out. Bola would always say we deserve the award for couple of the year. Two months later after we tied the knot, I was expecting.  Charles and I were so happy to have an addition to the family. We both loved kids and we couldn't wait to have ours. Charles would rub and kiss my baby bump at night before we went to bed every day. We went to US to have the baby and I had this a terrible tear during delivery. I had to stay away from sexual intercourse for sometime for it to heal. Poor Charles also had to abstain for a while, well we always had fun with foreplays.

Two months later after delivery, I came back Nigeria with my beautiful daughter and I was so excited, I was back home, we had a baby now and my tear was healed up.  Charles and I didn't want the traditional situation whereby our mothers come to live with us to help take care of our kid, we didn't want any interference in our lives. I was even happy with this decision of ours so I could re-invigorate our sexual life.  Everything was normal except that the sex part changed. Charles didn't seem to be enjoying the foreplays, I knew he wanted more. He wanted his wife back, and I was working on that.

My bestie Bola even wondered why I never bothered or thought about Charles cheating and I'd tell her that I knew my husband so well, he could never cheat. He barely even rolled with the opposite sex, he didn't even have much of them as friends maybe just four and I knew them so well. He could never cheat on me with them, I thought,  especially considering the fact that that they are all married except one who is engaged and getting married in three months so she could pass as married.

On this very day, I decided to activate our sexual life. I planned to surprise my husband, so I told him that I'd be at my mums' all day. So I dropped the baby at my mum's place after pumping breast milk that was enough to feed two babies, lol and of course that was too much for my child. I just needed to make sure that she had more than enough because her dad and I might spend the whole day. So this was how the plan was meant to go. I'd go to the market, go home and prepare Charles favorite meal, pounded yam and vegetable soup, go to his office and drag him home, eat, shower and the finally have our time together.

I got home from the market, opened the door with my key and proceeded to go upstairs to have a change of clothes.  And I heard the unimaginable coming from my matrimonial bedroom. Moaning. Charles moans to be precise, a drop of Tear rolled down my left cheek. It finally occurred to me that Charles was doing the most forbidden. Cheating. I got the courage to open the door and to my greatest surprise,  Charles was screwing a man on our matrimonial bed!

It was not just any man, his best friend, who was his best man. They were having so much "fun" and got distracted when I screamed and fainted. My world tumbled. I didn't know what to think anymore. That, I must say was my greatest shock. Looking back, I thought my life would end that day and my mind would never clear what I saw out of my head. I had never fainted in my life but that day I did. I still ask myself, is Charles alright? Did I see wrongly? So, Charles lived a fake life or what?  All these while, he had been having an affair with his so called best friend. Apparently this has been going on even before we Charles and I met. Was I meant to be the cover up for Charles? And I came to a conclusion that my husband is mad! What do I tell my daughter? Her father is bisexual? I call that very day,  The day of doom!



Thank you for reading. I really do love you :*

Maintaining Eye Contact.

  Generally, human beings do not maintain eye contacts while having discussions or normal conversations with each other (formal or informal). It's quite weird why this happens, I just don't understand why. Anyone can totally relate to this.

 I believe making eye contact while talking shows sincerity, honesty and realness in most cases. So does it mean that, no eye contact is equal to being fake? Ponder.

 Personally, I love making eye contact as I communicate. But it's quite difficult to maintain because I feel it makes the other party a little uncomfortable; the last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable when speaking to them because I wouldn't want you to do the same to me. I try my best to make it normal as possible.

Maintaining eye contact with a person is not really a hard thing to do, I guess, typing all of these is harder lol . Just the other day in school, I could count the number of persons that looked me directly in the eyes to express himself/herself. It's a two way thing, I suppose. I mean, according to me, Stare at me?,of course I'll do the same. What exactly is the problem?! People?. I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole drive home from school yesterday.

I enjoy speaking to my friends and having to fix my two little eyes on them. It just makes the conversation so real. You can tell that this person is making sense or that this person is actually being  sincere about whatever he/she is saying. It makes the discussion  deep. It establishes a solid relationship between you and the other person.

Frankly speaking, I just think people are intimidated and equally insecure most of the time. I mean everybody is, we're all dealing with insecurity,  honest truth.  Some people?, Lol  just more Insecure than others. Which is not a problem. But letting insecurity consume your mind and body is what makes it a problem. Don't get me wrong, I'm not innocent of these things. I'm equally Insecure as well, but I do not let it overwhelm me. I believe in building a solid front. Like a hard surface. Do not make people break those walls you have surrounded yourself with, cause if they do once!, guess what! They keep breaking it!. So always, I repeat ALWAYS! Keep a solid front. It builds your self confidence and helps you maintain a healthy relationship with people. NOTE!! No one is asking you to be rude or saucy, hell no. That is trashy. Be nice to a fault :D. People respect you more.

Let's not deviate from the issue on ground, that's a write up for another day. Yes, maintaining eye contact. Staring into one's face could be very intimidating. Often times, people just feel intimidated  when you look them in the face and as a result, have automatically developed a defence mechanism; they look away, or look to the ground, or some distant  object, or even pretend to look into thin air just to avoid looking at you back (roles eyes) all these acting for what??.  I think the reason the whites live a simple life and have such great relationships with one another (e.g divorced couple still going on friendly dates) can partly be drawn from the fact that they are so real with  themselves whenever they speak with each other (having great eye contacts).

Honestly, life would be so less drama filled, (pardon my English)  so easy, no worries if people can stare into their beautifully created faces and talk to themselves. I'm working on maintaining eye contact when I speak with people as well. I'm no professional and I'm no beginner either, I'm sure better than 70% of people I have come across. Biko uncles and aunties, boys and girls! No one is gonna flog you if you look them in the eye! And have a conversation like civilised people do oh!. Omg I forgot to add, some people just move their eyes continuously  because they do not want to fix them on the person they are speaking with (how creepy is that??? Only albinos are allowed to do that please). Trust me it's that bad, I have experienced it. This person just kept moving their eyes because  they didn't want to look at me directly which I felt was quite absurd, confusing,  funny and pathetic all at the same time! How sad,  I must have made the person so uncomfortable. Lol (in case you ever read this, I'm deeply sorry for that, wasn't my intention).

Another thing I would like to add here is that, most people can't stare directly into the eyes of much older people . E.g your parents, lecturers, uncles and aunts or some elderly person of some sort. It's like a sign of respect. In most homes kids are brought up like that. Okay, that's like the only reasonable excuse I can accept. But speaking to your peers??? Sweetheart biko, look into their eyes, who said you're going to die afterwards???.

My fingers hurt already, overall, I believe everyone should try to maintain good eye contact when having a conversation. It helps maintain a level of maturity while engaging in the discussion, it equally makes the conversation authentic and "deep" (tells the other person you know what you are talking about). Also helps boost your self confidence, it helps build good and solid relationships and friendships. You might not feel comfortable at first, but with time you just notice things begin to change and you feel fulfilled after you've had a conversation with someone.  Wink... :)

P.S if you think it's difficult , talk to God, he'll give you the boldness you need. Nobody becomes an expert overnight. You'll definitely see how this little thing can change your life for good!.
Kisses!
Donnie  x.